Sending a Bust Developer to My Girlfriend

Fall 1970. One day in my dorm room I was carefully studying the contents of a gentlemen’s magazine when an ad for the “Mark Eden Bust Developer” caught my eye. While my girlfriend Pat was more than a handful I’ll admit that popular culture had brain-washed me into thinking bigger was always better, and $10 was a small price to pay for a gift that promised to keep on giving.
When I came to the “Ship To” box on the order form I had to stop and think. These were the days when it took 4-6 weeks for a product to arrive. Since I was planning on moving off-campus, I wrote in Pat’s home address. She lived with her parents. Evidently this was not a smart move on my part.

The weekend after I ordered the bust developer I drove back to Omaha to visit my girlfriend and tell her about the wonderful gift I had purchased for her. She was horrified. What would her parents say if they ever found it? It seems I did not quite think through the “Ship To” detail. Pat was still living at home, and a package in a plain brown wrapper would invite questions! Fortunately, Pat got off work before her parents did and rushed to the mailbox to intercept the precious package. For weeks her stomach was in knots as she worried they would find it first. It finally arrived and she was able to intercept it before her parents found out and a confrontation was avoided.

One evening Pat’s mom told her in a stern voice that she needed to talk to her alone. When they were alone she said “what is that thing I found hidden in your underwear drawer?” Pat has never never liked confrontation and did not even consider questioning what her mom was doing rooting around in her underwear drawer. Instead, she just told her that it was a bust developer and that I had given it to her as a present. At the time her parents had not quite warmed up to me yet, and I am sure this thoughtful gift did not help. Still, a mother must have understood the value of such a device and let her keep it. Pat used it faithfully for a year or more until the springs finally broke. We were never sure if it actually worked, but I certainly felt there was a difference.

Read about a book my girlfriend’s mom found hidden in the family room in "I was taught by Lesbians"

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